Softly Spoken

We assume the world is an evil, violent place. We watch the evening news and see violence.

We say, “Why can’t the news show more good stories?”

Maybe the reason the news reports so many bad news stories is because we continue to watch them. The ratings go up when people watch. If we want the news to stop reporting these types of stories, maybe we should stop watching and reading. In entertainment, Hollywood produces movies with violence because it creates profit. The news and movies are popular because of our attraction to violence.

In my opinion, we do not become violent by watching violent movies or playing violent video games or by watching the news. It is much deeper than that. My belief is our fallenness and brokenness are the triggers for violent behavior. Video games and movies didn’t influence society to murder Jesus in his day, their fallenness and brokenness did, and our fallenness and brokenness are the cause of our violent behaviors.

The difference between then and now is Jesus has risen, and we have a helper, the Holy Spirit. In the incarnation, God entered our world. It is a big deal. In some, it creates joy and peace, but in others, it creates anger and violence.

Violent behavior can be a reactive, spontaneous response to stimuli or a well thought out plan for revenge to the stimuli. Theologically, hate and violent behavior are an act caused by going it alone, ignoring the helper, and manufacturing moral decisions based on personal choice and not adhering to a moral code created by a higher power.

There are good stories in this world where individuals have responded to the Holy Spirit.

My son called the other day to tell me that he had been in a fender-bender (a small vehicle accident). The streets were snow-covered; he was hurrying to get his son to basketball practice. While trying to come to a stop, he slid and hit the vehicle in front of him. Thankfully there were no injuries in the accident.

The Holy Spirit led my son that day, and he softly spoke to the angered man that he hit. He didn’t raise his voice or get into a shouting match with this man, he kept apologizing to the man, but the man was not listening. He continued to yell, “this is all I need”

The police arrived and found no damage to either vehicle, so there was no reason to fill out an accident report. They exchanged information, and my son apologized again and told the man he would pray for him.

My son felt the man was struggling with other issues that caused him to explode during this minor incident.

About a week later, the man contacted my son and apologized for getting so upset after the accident and thanked my son for praying for him because he needed it at that time in his life.

Proverbs 15:1 points to my son’s life story. It defuses the situation quickly when one pauses and listens before reacting to a confrontational person or situation and speaks with gentle, soft-spoken words. Applying Proverbs 15:1 not only defuses the situation but also helps us look beyond ourselves to think deeply about others more relationally and selflessly.

A lot of times we react negatively to situations that need discernment, a quick prayer, and an open ear to the Holy Spirit. In these situations, we need to slow down quiet our minds and listen.

When we listen to the Spirit, we are participating in the work of the son Jesus. When we act alone, with knee jerk reactions, we are following the flesh. When acting alone, we listen to what we need and want. These situations bring out the ugliness from within our hearts.

The desire of the flesh is against the Spirit (Galatians 5:17). We can’t live selfishly for ourselves; we must seek things from above and not from this world. Situations, life for that matter, go awry when we follow the fruit of the flesh.

I have seen both sides of the truth from Proverbs 15:1 through experience. Being married thirty-three years has helped me to realize that listening to the Holy Spirit, who persuades me to speak softly in confrontations and disagreements, is the best way to defuse the sparks.

I have been on the wrong side of this truth where my selfish pride and competitive spirit have brought on hurtful feelings and an “I am right and your always wrong” attitude. This way is disastrous for a relationship. 1 Thessalonians 5:15 warns us to “Resist revenge, and make sure that no one pays back evil in place of evil but always pursue doing what is beautiful to one another and all the unbelievers” (TPT).

Our new life is to participate in Jesus’ life. Loving others is not a duty or a burden or way to save our souls.

Arguments can be with the people we love or with total strangers. The best way to prove your love is to speak softly in confrontational situations before the confrontation gets out of control and becomes abusive and violent. We need to have empathy for our fellow human beings. Always seek first to understand before your need to be understood.

Participating in Jesus’ life means being courageous and compassionate at the same time.

We always have free will but the devil is always tempting us to overreact to every tough situation. In every difficult situation, Jesus wants us to choose life.

We do something in our worship at Church that I think is unique. We call it God sightings. It is awesome to listen to brothers and sisters, telling stories about individuals who are participating in the life of Jesus. I believe that there are many more God good stories out in the world than bad stories.

We are programmed to think the opposite because of the enemy. He doesn’t want anyone believing that the New Creation has begun, that Jesus is making all things new.

The best advice I can give you is to be a peace-maker and speak softly in the messy parts of your relationships.