I didn’t know how to swim when I was a young child. I was very fearful of the water, especially the deeper end of the pool. I would wade in the shallow end up to my neck, where there was a rope that divided the shallow end from the deep end. I never was able to cross that rope on my own.
My mother got this bright idea for my sister and me to take swim lessons. I made sure my Mom knew I would not be crossing that rope to the deep end of the pool, not realizing to pass swim lessons you had to jump off the small diving board into the deep.
It was time for the final test, which I didn’t know until that day. I was terrified and full of rage towards everyone who was trying to force me to jump off the diving board into the deep end of the pool. I was splashing around like a fish who was trying desperately to get out of the shallow water back in the deep water (except my position was to try and stay in the shallow end).
After screaming, I wouldn’t do it; I finally got the nerve to climb up on the diving board and slowly walk out to the end of it. Overcome by fear, I stood frozen on the board. My mother started to yell at me to jump off, but it was impossible. With a determined look in her face, my Mom got up from her chair and came towards the diving board, throwing me off the diving board at the deep end of the pool.
She did not know how I would respond, would I sink to the bottom, or would I start to swim. She didn’t know what I would have thought of her after she did it either. She just did it knowing that it was the right thing to do, even though I had the right to deny her the love that she deserved.
I had the freedom to choose whether to receive this as a learning experience to overcome my fear or a mother trying not to be embarrassed. Since I knew my mother well and knew how she felt about me, I knew it was for my good, and yes, I didn’t sink to the bottom of the pool.
How did I know the heart of my mother? How did I know she loved me? We spent time together, and she enjoyed being around me. My Mom wanted to know me, and being together, I got to know and respect her. She was compassionate and a good listener. Even though it didn’t look like it at the time, my Mothers heart was hurting with me. Does my Mother remind you of anyone?
Love isn’t always easy, and it doesn’t feel right or good sometimes. There are times when love doesn’t feel kind. In love, sometimes you don’t get what you want, but you get what you need.
How do we get to know a person, what they have been through in their life? If we don’t spend time together and listen to one another and grow in our relationships, we will stay suspicious of one another, fearful, and unable to trust.
Our person to God relationship isn’t any different than our person to person. Jesus became a man for all of us to know the Father’s heart. He did this by fellowshipping with his fellow man, living a perfect life, dying a horrible death, rising again to eternal life, and ascending as a man. We all know how hard it is to live a perfect life. He did it because he loves his Father and us. He died knowing how difficult and painful it would be because he loves us.
Jesus’ life was hard, but he continued to live it because of grace and love for us. He confronted the Pharisees and leaders of his time because he loved them and those they oppressed. He knew loving us would cause his death. It was important for the world to know the Father then, and it is important to know him today. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are one. God loves us, spend time with him in prayer, in reading his word, and be with his people.
Love isn’t easy at times. Sometimes our needs are not easily seen, and we need someone who loves us to give us 20/20 vision to grasp what we can’t see and to push us off into the deep. We also need to self-evaluate our selves in every situation when it comes to relationships. We sometimes need a push or a hit on the head by someone to get started on that journey.
When we look at ourselves first, we begin to see what holds us back to listen, to build relationships without fear, and to trust. Love goes deeper than just being kind. Sometimes it requires sacrifices, sometimes discipline, and a willingness to put away our pride and be humbled. Sometimes the hurt can’t be healed, and the relationship has to be severed to save one another.
The problems we have in relationships today, including race and racism, are deep, and jumping in to solve it can be scary and painful, but it is necessary for the healing of both parties involved. We should never forget being hurt by someone, but we need to forgive. We can’t forgive without knowing the deepest pain, anger, and fear that we have in our hearts. This is why prayer and self-evaluation are important.
The first humans lived in unity and harmony with each other and with God until the Devil tempted them with the idea of power. They ate the fruit so they could be like God and have independence from him and have power over one another. Here is a quote from Thomas Torrance’s book Incarnation: The Person and Life of Christ.
“Then we discover that the bond of fellowship between God and man is broken by rebellion and sin. It belongs to the nature of sin to divide, to create disorder, to disrupt, to destroy fellowship. What are the consequences of sin? Not only is the bond of communion between God and man broken, issuing in man’s guilty fear of God, but the bond between man and woman is impaired: guilt and shame come in between them, and even the symbol of wearing clothes is interpreted in terms of the hiddenness of man from woman and of woman from man” (pg. 39).
So, division in our relationships, between Man and Woman, Parent and child, and even between black and white are caused by sin. Both parties are to blame because of our sin nature.
Torrance also says, “With the bond between them broken, man and woman are individualized, and each is turned in upon himself or herself” (pg 39).
We are turned inward in a negative way. Our needs become the focus when we look inward.
A lot of times in relationships where there is a conversation, (some don’t have any), but when there is, there is no empathic listening. We are so turned in upon our selves that the only thing we can think of is our response to the person and not to hearing or feeling what they are going through.
I could have sunk but I chose to swim that day with my Mom. She helped me to overcome my fear and to develop the courage to fight the good fight, the courage to know myself and my God. The courage for me to look at myself and say I was wrong and I am sorry.
Thank you, Jesus, for showing us the Father and for putting people in our lives to teach us about love and relationships. Thank you for giving us ears to hear Amen.
OJ! Overwhelming Joy 